First off I have learned- the last month of pregnancy literally sucks!!! I was so anxious/getting my hopes up/frusterated when I was preggo with Eli the last month, and now my friends- REPEAT: I am this time around with Zacary too!!!
I get to Dr and find out Dr Moeling is at the hospital doing a "quick" delivery... that turned into Eli and I being in the office for 3 hours total. Now please do not think I am a bad Mom for keeping Eli in a Dr's office for 3 hours BECAUSE the only reason I did this was for 1- he slept for a little over an hour of the time because he fell asleep on the way to the Dr's office since it was his nap time and 2- he woke up very happy, playing with the blocks, puzzles, coloring, eating snacks, playing with a 4yr old cute lil girl and sharing his toys and snacks with her, and just sitting on my lap and being the best lil guy ever! He was sooo good the whole time and in a great mood- he even climbed up in the chair beside me and "read" a magazine. It was hilarious! He tried to go back to sleep on me for awhile too- he just made my afternoon sooooo good like he always can do soooo easily- esp after all the frusterating news I found out. I also took Eli to McDonalds playland for us to play for a bit before my appointment too- so all in all I had a wonderful day until I had to deal with the Dr's.
Needless to say- my Dr never returned and couldn't make it. The nurse asked me if I wanted to see the other Dr in the office or come back Fri. I said "well since I am here- I will have my appointment with the other Dr." I mean I had been there 2.5 hours- may as well make it 30 more min while I was already there and everything was going way smooth. If Eli would have been tired of it or sleepy/sad... then out the door I woulda went a long time ago for his sake! Not puttin my child through that kinda BS when I don't hafta! So I go back to the Dr who checks the baby's heartbeat- which was great, and tells me that my tests came back wonderful with the swab test they do towards the end of pregnancy. GREAT NEWS for sure- but he never checked to see if I was dilated because his rules are different then Dr Moeling and he doesn't check if you are dilated until you are overdue. WONDERFUL. So last Thursday I was at a 4cm and I wasn't gunna get checked today- and I go back next Tuesday. So I waited 3 hours for that when I would have said I will come back Friday if I would have known Mr Strict's rules- BLAH!
I am kinda paranoid- bc Dr Moeling told me since it is my 2nd child- a 4cm is nothing to worry about unless I am contracting up to 2 hours non stop or my water breaks. BUT then the nurse tells me today that a woman who is pregnant with their 2nd child will be sent to the hospital when they are 6cm dilated. OK- 6? That's 2 more cm. I didn't even think I was at a 1cm when I found out I was 4cm last Thurs- so who knows who knows whyyyyy I wasn't checked today. Pretty much I am frusterated bc I want to know these things, and I am ready to be done. I know life could be sooooo much worse and I am so thankful for the wonderful pregnancy and life I have been given BUT like I said- this last month is just down right hard some days... and the fact that I got my hopes up WAY TOO MUCH after last Thurs does not help. I will get over it for sure- and I know Zacary will come when it is meant to be. WORST CASE SCENARIO- I will go 2 more weeks of being pregnant til my due date. I am sure I can manage... afterall I have gone pretty close to 38 weeks so far... so toughen it up Jess :]
That's my stuff for now my friends... I really do love my life. Serious and honestly I do soooooo much and wouldn't trade a thing in the world for it... just can get a bit bitter at times like these and can't wait to meet my sweet baby boy- that's all :]
Oh a good note also- here is a couple of things Eli did this week towards his sweet baby brother:
"Eli are you ready for your baby brother to come to our house and stay with us?" - Me
(Eli shakes his head YES haha)
"What are you going to do with baby brother?" - Me
"Mama... baby..." (and then he blew a kiss) - Eli
Toooooooo cute and precious!!!!
Yesterday in Wal-Mart we saw a 4 mo old baby and Eli says "Mama Mama Mama BABY!" I said "Aw yes buddy it is a cute baby" and he smiled and pointed at the baby, and the baby smiled soooo big back! Eli looked at me with the biggest smile ever and kissed my belly and said "baby" :] MELTS MY HEARTS AND MAKES ME TEARY EYED!!!!!! I absolutely love love love it so much!
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